Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Controversial Subjects

Who knew there were so many controversial subjects?

I'm not just talking about politics (but I am glad that my "ring" is politics free - because I am afraid of what I would type & how wishy-washy I would sound - but don't those in the race sound a bit wishy-washy themselves?)

I am also not talking about oil & alternative sources of energy...

Or ____________

Or ____________

Or ____________

Rather I am talking about Mommy stuff.
Here is a list off the top of my head of controversial Mommy stuff - feel free to add more in the comments section or in an e-mail - I need to be prepared - I am apparently going in to this Mommyhood thing a bit naievely...

V@g!n@l (don't want trollers to find something that they aren't looking for) vs. C- Section (planned - not emergengy)
V@g!n@l with or without an epidural
Bre@st or bottle
Cloth or Disposable diapers
Pacifier or not
bumper pad or not
co-sleeping or crib

Not unlike many other controversial subjects there are some seriously hard core opinions on these subjects! Most of which need to be made ASAP

I always knew that there were options, but I had no idea about the "You don't love your baby if you do or don't do 'x'" hardline stances of some of these "Mommies."

For example, my mother bre@st fed her two children - I am not sure if there was any discussion on the subject or not or whether she did it because "that is what you do" or not - meanwhile in the same decade, my husband & his brother were bottle fed... Does that say anything about either of our mothers? We both survived...

Just some drivvel from the ever sick Mommy of almost 1. (Who has made some decisions about the list above - but my choices don't really matter - they are just that "my choices.")


Sweet P said...

I've been following you through your pregnancy, but haven't had the time to stop by and say hi. This post made me stop though.

Good questions. Here are a couple of my answers:
I did both feedings. But used soy formula. Allergies run in our family so these two ways were the best ways to avoid allergies. It worked, none of the boys have allergies.

I had to have C-sections. I cracked my tailbone at young age and couldn't dilate enough to deliver normally.

These days I would go with cloth diapers. I've seen patterns for really nice ones, not just the simple white ones.

All my boys used pacifiers. My youngest got rid of his own one day by throwing in the water and said, "no more neenee."

Definitely a crib. Co-sleeping once in a while in a while is OK, but I wouldn't make it a habit.

martha said...

Hi Amy. I Br479st fed all four of my kids and I was happy to be able to do it. It was NOT easy at first it was quite painful but I persevered and I felt that it was right for me. It may not be right for everyone and it is not a reflection of love. Also I stayed home with my kids for their infancies which made it much more possible(and me poorer but I am glad I did)
A couple of my kids had pacifiers-I can't remember which ones-one for sure but did the other three? hmmm-they are all pacifier free now and no one feels traumatized-only one had braces. well they may have been traumatized but not by the pacifier:)
I had migraines all through out three of four pregnancies-even had to have an mri, but the nausea did pass...
I did not have c-section and I vote for epidurals!!
o yes and i used both cloth and disposable. Cloth diapers are a real pain and I do not know how the previous generations were able to deal with not having disposable nappies...
and yes I do make the tris into hexagons just because I like them:)
did i answer all of them?

Jacquie said...

Beware of the baby police...some folks think they know all...(can be more zealous than quilt police). I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine.

mamaspark said...

I think Jacquie is right, the baby police are the worst! Do what feels right for you. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE will have an opinion but some of the best advice I received was, "You have never been a mom before and she has never been a baby before so do what works for the 2 of you".
Here is what I did:
Combo feeding baby #1 would not nurse to save her life
Cloth at home and disposable when traveling.
All had pacifiers, all are grown and now have no pacifiers.
I had no epidural or drugs at all, not necessairly by choice, it's just how it worked out.
My DH liked the co-sleeping but I preferred the crib so we did some of each.

Again, do whatever works best to keep you and the baby happy and healthy!

Jody said...

Yeah, the baby police are obnoxious ... and aren't very good at convincing anyone to change. Sigh ...

A few other debateable "issues":
circumsise(sp?) or not
strict scheduling or not
discipline ... a whole worm farm in itself
let the babe cry/pick up right away
vaccinate or not
sleep issues ... a whole nother worm farm

Oh heck, it goes on and on. Some people know EVERYTHING ... my children have taught me that I am not one of them. I roll with the punches and change my way of doing things on a regular basis (for the better, I hope).

Margaret aka Supermom said...

I think the most important thing with birthing is to go into the process educated, and flexible. I read several books, my favorite being "The Thinking Woman's guide to Childbirth" (I believe that's the title, it is by Henci Goer). It's a little granola-ish, but stresses allowing your body to do what it has done for 1000's of years naturally. I went into labor NOT wanting pain meds. I did NOT want a giant needle in my back, or a catheter or even and an IV. Call me a sissy if you want but no sissies have two natural births in this life. With my third, I planned to do the same thing, but I ended up being induced. It took me several days to reconcile that I'd have an IV. Then I had to accept (not known until at the hospital) that I was stuck in the bed for the labor. If I wanted to pee, they'd use a bed pan or a catheter. Hard and degrading choices. In the end it did not matter, as I was forced into an E-Csection in which I was put out for anyhow. Labor is brutal no matter how you choose to do it. That is a given. Natural labor is uniquely wonderful because I was up and walking around my room 15 minutes after having my sons, rather than puking my guts up from a reaction to the spinal. Joy!...

Nursing is another area to have a plan, but also be flexible. As a veteran mom who nursed for over 3 years(all 3 kids), I'm here to tell you that it is wonderful once it is established. Babies do have to learn how. It can be painful. Mastitis infections are awful; I had them with all three babies. I read before #1 to make a committment of x number of months to nurse. I chose 3 months minimum as my committment - he went 10 mos before he weaned himself. Formula is expensive. On top of that, my kids are immensely healthy children, which I like to think is partly due to what they were fed.

Pacifiers...never used; never thought I needed to. They always slept and calmed down well when held.

Co-sleeping is dangerous. Mine all did sleep with me at one point, but they slept on the top of the bed between my legs. I am a very light sleeper, and ONLY did it because they were noisier sleepers in their bassinet. I suggest a separate bed in your bedroom for 2 months or so. You won't want to be that far away, as you'll be up 3-4 times a night.

Good luck.

Be flexible & informed.

JudyL said...

You're so right that things that we think wouldn't be controversial sometimes are very much so. All of the things you mentioned are so important and I can tell you I've seen instances on both sides of every issue and for the most part, looking at teens and young adults, it's really hard to say which ones wore cloth diapers and which ones didn't; which ones had pacifiers and which ones didn't. My son is adopted so he took a bottle, he took a pacifier, he wore disposable diapers. He's a perfectly fantastic young man! My feeling now is that he would pretty much be the same person whether he was bre@st fed, wore real diapers and didn't take a pacifier. You do whatever you feel is right for your own family. Looking back, I see so many things I wish I'd done differently but we'll never be perfect parents .. we just do the best we can. You'll be a great mom!

Karol-Ann said...

Personally, I think it's easy to have strong opinions/ideas before having the baby. Once the baby comes, you 'do, what you gotta do' and that applies for the birth too. I know lots of Moms who wanted water births the first time round (me included) and it just didn't happen. It can be a grave disappointment, BUT you have to be open to anything and the MOST important thing is to keep your goal in mind: a healthy and happy baby.

Betty J in OKC said...

I've never been a human Mom, just a cat-mom. I needed to warn you about co-sleeping. Please make sure the parent is awake when this happens, before the baby's old enough to roll over on it's own. My co-worker lost her 6-month old DD when DB (baby's daddy) was sleeping on the sofa with baby on his tummy. Baby rolled off and got wedged between him and the sofa. Nobody noticed until he woke up. The funeral was VERY sad.

andsewitis Holly said...

So, do we know the gender yet? Have I missed anything? Do you want to find out or have it be a surprise? If you find out, are you going to let us in on it or make us wait? Finding out the gender is a controversial subject to some.

atet said...

Baby police -- they're worse than quilt police. I mean really, if you don't do it "right" with a quilt, it's fabric. With a baby? Um, yeah, a human being. The only thing I can say is do what's right for you and your family. If you want to know what I did -- more than happy to share, but what works for me may not be for you :0). Hugs and hang in there!